Just around the corner

It was bound to happen eventually. Sooner or later. Surprising how long it took come to think of it. His office is just around the corner and down the street, after all – I pass by it every time I go to the pool, the book store, to meet friends for lunch. Surely our paths would cross within such a small radius.
But no.
Months went by and never.
Then this afternoon making a right, thinking of something else, turning onto the street, and there, right there walking with someone.
I was on my bike, a couple of yards away. Just there. He was listening to his friend, face down and tilted to the side while his companion spoke. He hadn’t seen me.
I could call out, I thought.
But no.
He looked smaller than I remembered, like a childhood home that seems small when visited years later. Maybe it was his friend who was large at his side, making him petit in comparison. He wore the businessman jacket, one of his personas. I in my painting clothes, looking like a homeless person. I saw in his step that lift, that lilt in his walk he’s had since I first met him decades ago.
The moment was a fact, bald and ordinary – Oh, there he is. Another person, another body, another human walking along the street, going about their day. Some 8 or 9 months after the end, after everything became clear and the door had to be closed.
It was as I got to the house that a sadness came down from the sky like soft rain. The memory of disillusionment. Dashed dreams. The word deçu in French.
So strange how someone will loom large in your life briefly, a burst of flame, changing the texture, the mood, the focus, and then poof, the match is a crisp, finished, and the sensation will vanish as if never known, the someone becoming just another body, another human, walking along the street.

17 thoughts on “Just around the corner

  1. VERY moving, Kat. I know this feeling so well, and this post brought tears to my eyes. I feel this way about a beloved friend right now. You have captured it, written it poignantly, beautifully in one paragraph. “So strange how someone will loom large in your life briefly, a burst of flame, changing the texture, the mood, the focus, and then poof, the match is a crisp, finished, and the sensation will vanish as if never known, the someone becoming just another body, another human, walking along the street.” Wow.

      1. Doesn’t seem likely at this point. It’s such a painful loss, and your post captured that feeling so well… of someone we love, who flames and bursts in our life, and then becomes someone we see at the store… or on the street. I’m sorry for your loss, too. Sounds like it was very difficult and painful. xo

  2. Great post Kat, you really captured that feeling when someone important from your past is suddenly thrust back into your consciousness. I know that feeling well.

    Thanks for sharing, really moving!

    Rohan.

    1. Rohan! Lovely to hear from you.
      So what do you think – do you think people who have fewer partners and more monogamously-minded are less prone to these kinds of encounters?
      Or if you have a busier love-life, perhaps these ghosts from the past are less intense?
      Inquiring minds…

  3. Beautifully said Katalina. With poetry and honesty… your voice. It moved me but I smiled ’cause the words were yours, from the heart, the gut shaded with dreams. Good job!

      1. Glad to be in your cheering section. I would not spend time here if I did not see huge talent and something very special. period. Take a bow and I’ll take a hug. 🙂

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