The cat was sick, a crouched peeing everywhere, on the beds, the couch, visibly uncomfortable.
An emergency run to the vet happened at mid day. All protocols in effect: cat delivered to door of vet with mask on, no entry for humans.
Time to kill.
The vet is at that funny intersection where Cherry St turns into Sumach and Adelaide turns into a ramp onto the expressway. A bit of a wasteland of streetcar tracks and highways. There’s talk of development (when is there not) and the vet location is even supposed to be a subway station eventually when they build that new line they’re always promising.
Wandering aimlessly I noticed a sign – a farmers market I’d never heard about. Who doesn’t love a good farmer’s market?
It wasn’t Thursday, it was Friday, but I had time to kill so I figured might as well wander down the block to “Underpass Park” a skate park plus underneath the expressway – the ultimate in urban.
And oh my goodness, I didn’t remember THIS much art…
A feast for the eyes – so many different styles, ideas, cultures, mark makings… What a way to make the ugly spaces beautiful.
Back in April, in the most lockedness of lockdown, I still had a roommate – a woman from Vancouver, stranded in Toronto – and she would stay in the apartment all day every day, while I would venture out to the grocery stores and on over to my studio, my sanctuary.
But in those still more wintery than spring days of April, I would arrive to this room full of giant 5 and 6 foot paintings of animals, look around and just burst into tears.
Something about the scale, the sense of power, the confidence and apex predatorness… I just could not relate to any of it. Who was the person who had begun painting these? There was so much still to do to finish each of them, but I could not summon or even fathom any of that kind of big energy.
After several afternoons of just sitting on the couch looking around, I realized I would have to try something different, for the moment at least. I remembered a suggestion from Eric Maisel (I think it’s in his Fearless Creating book) to just go to the studio and squeeze some paints onto the palette. Just that.
So I started there.
And then the next thing I did was put some colours on some cheap sheets of canvas paper and moved them around. No image. Nothing representational. Just moving the paint around.
The following week I started to bring fruit. Stopping in at the No Frills on my way over, I’d pick up a few shapes, a few colours. I set up a little spot with a light, and put out the fruit.
From years ago when I did still lives all the time, I still have the tiny little masonite boards ready to go, so I did a series of pretty terrible paintings of fruit. But it was something, it was still moving the paint around.
And in between there were days when even dealing with paint seemed like a lot, so I would just draw. Pull out a sketchpad, some charcoal, and just exercise that hand eye communication – the pleasure of close observation.
But the drawings on their own felt a little bald, so on the iPad I started adding a bit of colour after the fact.
By now weeks had passed, the roommate had gone home to Vancouver, and spring had fully sprung and the trees were leafy and green and full, and I would pass them as I did my rounds – my extended route along the lake front, then circling back along the wide park boulevard of Esplanade and over towards the studio – and I started to pluck a leaf here and there, relishing their smell, their aliveness.
Being a city kid through and through I can’t tell one kind of tree from the next, so I downloaded an app to find out what each one was. At night I listened to audiobooks of The Hidden Life of Trees by Peter Wohlleben, and The Overstory by Richard Powers – both magical, wonderful books.
And then I started to draw the leaves I was picking on the iPad.
These, I like.
Here, finally, was something new emerging that felt like it might go somewhere.
My huge animal paintings are still waiting patiently to be finished, to have the final layers and touches completed, but in the meantime, there is a new seed of something beginning…
I’m pretty tickled to tell you that the chairs are from M in #304, the chest from K in #405, the plant on the left from V in #605, but then… that’s just the way things roll in this building.
For a while I was fretting about how many chairs and where to keep them and allowing enough space for people, and then I realized… I have no idea when I’ll be able to have people over again.
However, it’s a great place to sit and watch the skies. I’m not sure I even realized Toronto skies were so interesting before living here.
Like any July, the heat and humidity are offset only by the drama of the thunderstorms…
They linger, flashing for hours, or sweep in with tornado force winds, blowing umbrellas inside out, forcing the cyclists to push hard against the current.
It has just been announced that development of the empty space in front of us is now about to begin. Office buildings, they say – innovative, exciting, timber build office buildings are on their way. In fact, the ground-breaking ceremony was slated for yesterday morning, involving federal, provincial, and municipal layers of government – speeches and ribbons and all that brouha.
However, some protestors showed up – something to do with evictions, housing, the pandemic… was hard to tell, as the mic was immediately cut. Ceremony disrupted, the officials fled.
Here we watched the chaos from our balconies, thinking : yes, we are all plenty worried about pandemic economics, lost jobs, how to pay rent, but…
follow your nose 