He passed away two weeks ago.
Toni. Father to an 11-year-old girl who adored him, life partner to one of my oldest pals.
Serious change.
Talking to my friend on the phone, she sounded confused, told me not to bother coming into town.
I waited. Called her a week later. She told me they’d “be fine”. “Do what you wanna do”, she said.
I waited some more. Gave it one more week and called again. “The weekends are tough”, she allowed, “and I need a babysitter for a couple of days”.
So I came.
His coat still hangs in the front hallway.
His things are everywhere around the house, as if he’s due back tonight.
I am sleeping in the front room where he kept his bird collection – they are still all here, and the lamp on a timer goes off at 5:36 every morning, prompting all the birds to begin singing at once a foot away from my ear.
His daughter wants to keep all the birds, of course, but mom is not so sure how to take care of all of them. Which ones get which food, how much water.
Especially as now the orange one has had a baby, and sits warming the baby all day long.
Underneath is a tiny little pulsating body, just beginning to sprout wings.
Change persists.
Sorry for the loss of your beloved friend. You are a wonderful friend to his wife as well. I hope someone can help you all figure out how to care for his birds.
Thank you so much for your comment. It was hard to find the way to be a good friend in the situation, but being even just a little bit helpful feels better than nothing. Best, Kat
That moved me greatly. I really can’t say anything else.
Thanks John. It felt simplistic as I wrote it, so glad something came across.
K
What you wrote was perfect. Less is always more, particularly with such a hard subject.
Powerful!! And a true testament to the cycle of life and death and all that changes in between.
Thank you for sharing!
~Melissa
Thanks so much, Melissa – generous words….
Oh, Kat, this vibrates with love and heartbreak. Tender.
I’m sad for all of you.
Thanks Karen. So many tender sides to a moment like this – I’m finding the little girl seems worried about her mom, doesn’t want me to leave cause she doesn’t want her mom to be alone and sad. The little girl is coping so well, a delayed reaction seems likely.
Wow, what a powerful and touching post. I hope things will become stable again in time, but at the moment things are in a state of flux which is quite heartbreaking to see.
Thank you for sharing, all the best to you and your friend and her daughter.
Rohan.
So sweet, Rohan, thanks so much for stopping by and commenting. x Kat
[…] touching and inspiring posts every day, this one simply stuck with me. In a few words and pictures Kat’s post manages to describe the nature of death and rebirth, change and motion. And also the confusion, the […]
Hi Kat, just wanted to let you know that I chose this post for my Post of the Week over on my blog, you can see it here: http://rohan7things.wordpress.com/2013/04/26/rohans-7-things-post-of-the-week-2-change/
Have a lovely weekend!
Rohan.
Well you just made it lovelier! So happy it touched you, Rohan – and thank you for sharing. Kat
🙂 Everyone loves your post! Really touching,
Rohan.
Wow, Rohan, I’m very moved – thanks so much for your generous heart. xx Kat
I’m glad Rohan posted this. Sorry for the loss of your friend. Hugs Paula. Xx
Thank you for the hugs, and for stopping by. Kat
I saw your post on Rohan’s page–it’s very beautifully written and powerful. I’m glad I got to read it.
Oh thank you, Katie, it felt like a tiny gesture in the face of such a significant event. Glad you enjoyed it. Kat