The Resilience of Swans

We’ve had some cold snaps here, creating a bit of ice on the lake, but today the temperature truly drops with the arrival of the much hyped polar vortex.

I keep thinking about the swans – this winter is the first time I’ve seen swans here in our harbour.

While kayaking in the summer, I’d noticed a little island full of them over by The Spit – not quite in the harbour but adjacent, over in the wildland park area.

It looks lovely in their spot over there – sandy and green and very few signs of humans, so I’m not sure why this one pair has come to take up residence in the noise and grit of the harbour proper – it doesn’t look very hospitable.

When I first learned or noticed that swans stick around all winter, was back in the days when I was going up to Georgian Bay on the regular, getting out of the city and into nature, and getting to know my first digital camera.

Up there I saw that even as the temperatures plummeted and the water became filled with huge chunks of ice, the swans endured, floating quietly through the cold winter months. What impenetrable layers they must have, I thought, thinking of the thick layers of fat on a duck and imagining something like that underneath all the pretty white feathers.

The sense of this kind of obdurate toughness has been coming up repeatedly in the ongoing saga of my dad’s terrible, horrible, no good, very bad year.

Over the holidays his partner of the last twenty-five years died. It had been coming for a long time and yet in the end happened very quickly, I think catching my dad off guard as he himself has had such a rough year health-wise and is the elder of the two.

Sad times.

Since my dad has been living for some months in a retirement home, we have begun the process of packing up the condo where they lived, and are in and out with boxes and bags, figuring out how to deal with all the stuff of a life.

The other day my brother and I got deep into it with the doorman of their condo building, discussing their dealings with the ongoing issues with the plumbing and renovations, and he said to us, “If I had to go to war, I would want those two with me – they were so stubborn…”. And there was something about the way he said it and what he didn’t quite say that implied a kind of “Okay, sure they’re gay, but… those two homosexuals are some tough motherf***ers.”

Underneath all the pretty white feathers…

Lens Artists Challenge – Resilience

Working on Art

hallway collagesFor a month or two I’ve been inviting friends over for dinner, wining and dining them into the night, and, when they’re relaxed and off-guard, I lure them up to my room, blinking and confused, and force them to sit on the edge of my bed and look at my art.
I’ve been so hungry for feedback, ravenous after many hours and days and weeks over the winter of experimenting with different forms, jamming around with the photos, the painting, the collages – I need need need to see what people respond to.living room collagesI’d invited a bunch of people over for a barbeque last night, a little seasonal fair, and as I was tidying and mopping and vacuuming in anticipation of their arrival, it occurred to me – I’d have them hostage for hours, could put art all over the house and see what people might say.photoIt must be some core piece of the need to make art is an element of communication – it’s like you’re looking for a way to talk about something.
And sometimes it may be a private correspondence with the Universe – like cave artists making shamanic magic on the walls, calling to the spirits of the animals to reveal themselves and where they can be found in abundance.
Or it may be a conversation you are having with a friend in your mind as you do it, a kind of running dialogue that informs what comes out. And then when you talk about this image that has sprung from somewhere, it’s part of how you connect as friends – you see more about who they are by what speaks to them.photoSo when Bea said she really loved the alligator – a drawing I’d hesitated to put up, cause it’s just a loose rough kind of sketch of a piece – it gave me some sense of a place in Bea that resonates with this not-pretty, not-girly kind of image.
But Tom kept remembering something I hadn’t put out, a picture I’d shown them several weeks before when I’d had them on my bed and forced them to look at things, an experiment with drawing and painting on a photo – photoThat one! said Tom. That one was his favourite.
Sometimes taste seems to cut along a shared medium, as in sometimes the painters like the paintings, responding with a visceral part of themselves to texture and colour – Maria, a month ago uttering a low hum when she saw the blues and drips and bumps in this piece – under the seaAnd showing no real interest in the experiments of drawing and painting on photos –
swallow expWhereas Nicky, a non-visual artist, an actor / dancer / director, was very drawn to these experiments, and felt the one of the magnolia was the most realized, the most successful integration of photo and paint – photoAnd while some people have a more textural inclination, others are more figurative, they don’t care for abstraction, they like to always recognize what the image is, to always see a familiar shape.
Sometimes when you’re kind of on that edge, a title can help, can indicate a figure to be found and known – so for example, if I were to say this is a butterfly –
flutterbyWould you believe me?
What’s your favourite, Dear Reader?
(Weekly Photo Challenge – Work of Art)

Marks

20130806-201140.jpgShy, tentative marks on the page, trying to remember how to draw – oh I used to do this all the time, it was so easy decades ago…
It is a re-entry into pure eye to hand communication, all visceral observation, any analytical thinking subverted, diverted, short-circuited.

20130806-201214.jpgLast week in the city, at lunch a friend said she had started going to life drawing classes again after an absence of decades. It comes back, she assured me, Like a bicycle…

20130806-201300.jpgEncouraged by my sweet BFF Susan, asked so nicely by Uzoma, and determined to reconnect, experimenting with pencil, pastel, paint, messing around, trying anything to feel less afraid of the page, I begin drawing on photographs –

20130806-201343.jpgIt seems like a desecration at the same time as it is wholly satisfying – an ownership, a branding – a new area to explore while feeling somehowlike a tying up of loose ends…

20130806-201422.jpg